Imagine being 21, a single carefree gal, about to graduate and embark on a semester abroad in Italy. The world is at your fingertips. As valedictorian of your high school, and after getting a full-ride to college, you’re ready to conquer the real world. Life is pretty much perfect.
Then, the world drops out from under you. You get pregnant.
This is exactly what happened to my next guest blogger, Chaunie Brusie. That was six years ago. She’s now 27, married to the baby’s father. They have three wonderful kids together, and Chaunie has since learned an unplanned pregnancy is not the end of the world. In fact, she went on to complete her master’s..becoming a labor and delivery nurse, motivational speaker, and is now an advocate for women facing unplanned pregnancy. Read more about her story here.
It’s just a few reasons why I’m so thrilled to have Chaunie as a guest blogger. I hope you enjoy her writing as much as I do! ~Jenny
A Tale of Two Sparkly Pants
By: Chaunie Marie Brusie
“My pants are more sparkly than yours!”
“Nooo, my pants are more sparkly than yours!”
“No, mine!”
“Mine!”
I rounded the corner, my sixteen-month-old son hot on my heels (as he always is) to find my two daughters fighting passionately in their bedroom.
The five-year-old had just donned her brand new sparkly purple pants, while the three-year-old followed suit in her new sparkly jeans.
Seeing the two of them facing off, identical hands-on-their-hips poses and matching glowers, I couldn’t help but intervene.
“Girls,” I said softly. “You both have sparkly pants!”
I turned to my oldest. “Ada, do your pants stop being sparkly because your sister’s are sparkly too?”
She slowly shook her head, still giving her sister a wary eye. I turned to my three-year-old next. “Mya, do your pants stop being sparkly because Ada’s are sparkly too?”
Mya crossed her arms, her elbows still dimpled in that adorable little girl way, begrudgingly granting my point.
As I pulled them apart, watching them still circle each other like comical sparkly lions, I couldn’t help but marvel how now, as a grown woman, mother, and wife, I am still fighting in a world where women seem to argue about whose sparkle shines brighter.
From the infamous “What’s your excuse” mom (seriously, that’s what pops up if you Google it—guilty as charged) to the latest and greatest fitness blogger’s four day postpartum selfie, it would appear that as mothers, we are intent on driving ourselves crazy trying to outshine each other.
Yes, some of us are more focused on fitness than others. (Please let it be noted that both of these lovely ladies are actually fitness bloggers; i.e. looking a certain way is kind of part of the job?)
Yes, some women look like they never gave birth and can rock the bikini-gram on Instagram.
Just like some mothers work, some stay home, and some create a strange hybrid of working and being home in a way that looks impossible from the outside but makes perfect sense on the inside.
Mothers work, care for their children, and feed their babies differently.
Women come up in different shapes, sizes, and forms.
But ultimately, no mother is more beautiful than as she is reflected in her children’s eyes.
It would be silly to pretend that we don’t notice the differences between each other as women and mothers. Do I wish that I looked bikini-worthy four days after giving birth? On some level, sure! Is it going to happen without a tremendous amount of work on my part? Not a chance. Would it make me a happier woman? Probably not. Outward appearance really isn’t all it’s cracked out to be.
But yet, it has taken me a long time in my own journey, especially as a young mom, to see that my own life does not have to be measured by the lives of other women, especially those best selves lives presented online. It can be discouraging to see the way in which women still tear each other down, intent on proving that “our” way is the right way, as if it were that simple—a “one size fits all” for all things in motherhood and life. We challenge other women, whether it is tearing down the mother posting her “humblebrag” selfies, the mother who only posts pictures of her kids on Instagram, or the mom who comes to school pick-up still in her jammies. *cough*
But when it comes right down to it, there is only one truth that we all need to realize in this crazy comparison world:
We all shine a little differently.
But one woman’s sparkle doesn’t have to diminish another’s.
Chaunie is a writer, labor and delivery nurse, and a young mother of three. Her first book, Tiny Blue Lines: Reclaiming Your Life, Preparing For Your Baby, and Moving Forward in Faith in an Unplanned Pregnancy will be released in January 2014. She blogs at TinyBlueLines.
