Last week I sat around with a group of women enjoying a glass of wine and a chat. The women around me were all ages, came from different cities and had various backgrounds. Some had families, some didn’t, but all of them were what I would describe as successful for various reasons. The topic of age came up and whether or not we each liked to celebrate our birthdays and the passing of another year. The general consensus, was definitely not.
I’m one of those people that loves my birthday, I wear each passing year with pride and I don’t typically care what age I am one way or another. Which forced me to ask, why didn’t this group of ladies like growing older? The answer, for every person, was that they weren’t where they thought they’d be by this age and so each year served as a reminder of what they hadn’t achieved. For some it was a career goal or a financial one, for others it was being married or having children. They all had set themselves on some sort of course long ago and each day they hadn’t reached that preconceived destination served as a harsh reminder of the promise they were breaking to themselves.
Ladies, this mentality doesn’t do any of us any good.
I am a firm believer that God has perfect timing. If you aren’t of a similar faith, think of it as everything happens for a reason and exactly when it’s supposed to.
When I decided to try and get pregnant for the first time I thought I’d snap my fingers and be expecting the next minute. It took eight months to conceive. Eight months of hoping, eight months of trying not to be jealous of the women around me who were pregnant, eight months of being sad when it didn’t happen like I thought it should. Jackson Cage Hollis was born on January 30, 2007 and he is one of the greatest joys in my life. He loves computer games, cooking with me and playing Legos with his daddy. If I’d have gotten pregnant at any point during those eight months of trying, I wouldn’t have had Jackson. God has perfect timing.
I used to dream of being the biggest event planner in Los Angeles. I wanted a big staff and a fancy office and the highest paying clients in town. Year after year I kept thinking, this is the year I’ll need a staff of 20. This is the year I’ll produce the Govener’s Ball, this is the year I’ll bring home a million dollars (I’m a dreamer, you’ll recall) and every year we grew but not as big as I hoped and I’d feel so depressed that I wasn’t as successful as I should be. Then my little blog, which was only ever supposed to be a marketing tool for the events company started to take over and I absolutely loved it. Eventually the site became my business, and it’s so much more fun and gratifying than the events ever were. If I’d had the biggest events company in LA I wouldn’t have had time to write the blog that would become my career. God has perfect timing.
I could do this with you all day. I could point out a hundred different moments in my life where I thought I should have something and was so upset about not getting it only to discover in retrospect that it wasn’t ever meant to be mine to begin with. If you have a goal, that’s fantastic! I am one of the most motivated people ever and my list of life goals is nine miles long. But along with that goal you need to give yourself some grace. Being married by 25, pregnant by 30 and partner of your firm before 40 are arbitrary numbers and none is more important than the life you live and people you love on the way there. Please remember that by not being where you thought you should be, you might end up exactly where you’re supposed to go. ~Rachel
