Over the past two months the friendship series has discussed Why Women Can’t Find Friends and what to do When Friendships Change. So that leaves us with one more friendly conversation…How A Busy Woman Makes Time For Friends! Whether our days are filled to the brim and our plates are overflowing or there’s a season of quiet with busy times around the corner, women need to connect in the special way only women can. So let’s explore how. Who’s with me?
First thing’s first, let’s bust the Perfect Communication Myth. Not sure what that is? How often have you heard or said one of the following when starting a conversation with a friend:
“I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner, work has been crazy and…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back until now, school just started and….”
“I’m sorry I just got to your email, we just got back from vacation and…”
Everyone is busy, each in her own way, and no one is expecting you to be perfect in this area. Let’s all stop apologizing! Do your best to respond in a timely manner, but don’t start every interaction with guilt or a list of reasons for the (small) delay. Your friends understand and can relate because they are more than likely just as swamped with life as you are.
Feeling a little lighter? Now here are 4 practical ways to Find, Make and Nurture your friendships in the midst of your busy days without feeling overwhelmed.
Make Some Room
The truth is, spending time with friends is a priority for all women, but their schedules don’t reflect this desire. Instead of looking at your schedule and determining what little time you have for connecting with friends, place time with friends in line with other important to-do’s and treat it as such. If you don’t do this, you shouldn’t be surprised if you never have time, because in reality you are not doing anything to make time.
Look In Obvious Places
Take a minute and consider the women you see throughout your day at work, social events or your kid’s events. This is the easiest way to connect with new friends. Instead of waiting around to connect with new friends when you are “not as busy” (this will never happen), take time to invest in the women you see around you regularly, right now. You may be surprised at the wonderful friends you’ll make that are already in arms reach.
Don’t Make Your Hang-Outs A Big Event
I think we shy away from making plans because we think they have to be long, marathon-like events, lasting for hours and hours at a time. Re-think this and it could really change up the way you connect. Aim for connecting with friends more often, but for shorter periods of time. One hour of connecting can be just valuable as a three-hour dinner together and it is easier to plan.
Show Up and Be Present
Show your commitment to your friends and your time together by showing up early (even a few minutes speaks volumes). Store away your phone, close all other blinking, flashing, glittery distractions and give yourself time to disconnect. Remember, making time for friends and building friendships is not another thing to check off the list. Being fully present with your friend will do wonders for you and your relationship.
Chic Tip: Instead of looking for a bunch of women that are exactly like you, have all the same interests and similar life experiences, think outside the friend-box, culture-box and age-box. You can learn from each other as you build a friendship along the way.
Jacqueline Pilar Photography
