Accepting a Compliment

How to do it…

A stranger compliments your outfit and a burst of confidence surges through your body. You think: I am noticed.

Your boss makes it a point to tell you what a good job you are doing on your project. You think: I am valued.

Your family thanks you for another delicious dinner. You think: I am appreciated.

Then there are the moments we have a hard time accepting a compliment at all. We deny, defer or make a joke, uneasy of the attention or worse, because we have a hard time believing it ourselves. I often find when I am complimented I have a quick comeback. “I like your dress” is met with “Oh, thanks, I actually found it at Target on sale, years ago.” Is it because we don’t want to come off as snobby or is it deep rooted insecurity?

I think it’s because we are missing the point. Let’s take a look outside of ourselves and discover the true gift we may be missing and why accepting a compliment should be one of the easiest things you do.

People Cannot Grow Without Encouragement.
Consider for a moment what it would be like if you never heard a word of encouragement in your workplace, at home or in your relationships. Day in and day out you plug along, without so much as a pat on the back, thanks, hug, bonus, or acknowledgement. You simply wouldn’t grow. The power of a compliment propels people forward and without it we are all programmed to get discouraged and question our value in that area. Compliments are meant to encourage us to keep going and are a vital part of our emotional well being.

When You Don’t Accept a Compliment, Both People Are Denied a Gift.
Compliments are meant to be a blessing. When you shrug it off, deny it or slide into a mode of self-deprecation, you miss the opportunity to be encouraged by kind words. You see, the compliment is not about you. It is about another person, friend, family member, or even stranger, acknowledging something they see in you or about you. It is not up to you to decide whether or not it is true. Likewise, if you shrug it off or deny it, you in fact deny the person complimenting you the opportunity to lift you up. Both parties miss out on a moment to give and receive; two major ways people experience joy and happiness. When you are complimented, try your best to receive it as you would a gift, accept it and move on.

If You Live By Compliments, You Will Be Destroyed By Critiques.
When your motives and actions are propelled by what others think of you, your heart is in a dangerous place. One day people like you, the next they will critique your work. If you seek life and meaning in what others have to say about who you are or what you do, you will be on a continuous roller coaster of emotions. Consider what it would be like to get to a place where your security is in someplace other than in the hands of others. This allows you to enjoy compliments as they come but accept critique as well, rather than letting it shake you to your core. The result would be greater inner peace.

Consider The Power Of Your Words.
There is an old saying, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” As friends and wives, mamas, sisters and daughters, we have a very significant role to play. The power of our words is extremely significant. People are watching us and little ears and eyes are listening to our strong voices. It is important that we learn to give and receive compliments freely and graciously. So the next time someone compliments me I am going to stop, think and try something new. I’ll simply say, “Thank you.” Will you practice this with me?

Brandee’s Chic Tip: I want to challenge you to find 5 people today and give them a compliment. Maybe it’s someone at the grocery store or maybe it’s your spouse. Take time to notice the people around you. Find something beautiful about them and give them a sincere compliment. Don’t worry if it comes out strange, or how they respond. It may be the only uplifting thing they hear all day. Then share with me below who and how you gave a compliment!